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 Two Scoops: August 30, 2004 columns
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Colleen Zenk
Barbara's loony leap
For the Week of August 30, 2004

Do you suppose Barbara was packing a parachute in that designer outfit? And was she up enough floors for the thing to open if she was? It's questions such as these that I'm left pondering, after Barbara's crazy leap through the courtroom window Friday.


It's not often I'm surprised in the world of daytime. There are too many predictable amnesia/twin/illegitimate children/who's-the-daddy storylines. So it's with great adulation that I say, I never saw that coming.


Kudos to the writers for coming up with this twist. It's hysterical, desperate, and crazy. Exactly the way Barbara has been feeling lately, since James put the squeeze on her and threatened Will. I'm guessing Babs staged the stunt so she would get sent to the psych ward to be with her son. Or maybe she really was trying to end it all, in which case, she earned her straight jacket. Either way, it was a gutsy move. I never thought I'd see the writers have a main character - forgive me - take a flying leap.


In other observations::
--Parker Munson apparently has the gift. Seriously, that kid is freaking me out. He doesn't read music at all, and then we see him banging out that song on the piano like he's Amadeus. And don't get me started on the water park premonition. Forget preschool, this kid could have his own crossing over show.


--When I kick the bucket, I'd like to request that Craig Montgomery speak at my memorial. He has such a way with words. His hilarious tribute to Jack was a nice break from all the melodrama. And only Craig could insult a man at his funeral and get laughs from the crowd. His "meathead" comment about Jack was priceless, as was this gem: "He may not have been the quickest pony on the track, but he knew a thing or two about people, and we were buddies in a way." Man I've missed Craig.


--It's official. Susan is a nut job. Her rantings this week proved once again that this woman needs some medication. Geesh, always with the drama that one. I think Rick Decker rubbed off on her.


--I'll spare you my weekly, "Where is Henry?" rant and just say that it's been weeks people, weeks, since we've seen him. Instead, I refer to Two Scoops reader Antonia's comments on the situation: "I don't know why they treat Henry this way. It's like they don't know what to do with Henry when Katie doesn't need him. The only thing I can think of is that there are some really serious stories going on right now and Henry's humor isn't fitting. This is the perfect opportunity to get Henry from behind Katie's shadow and ATWT is blowing it." I couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks Antonia.


--Why is Ali responsible for sending out her own bridal shower invitations? Any bride worth her salt knows that's the job of the matron of honor? Emily should have seen to that small detail. Oh, that's right. She hasn't had time. She's been too busy making out with the groom and all.


--Bravo to Ben for telling Jessica what we've all been thinking. His comments about her infidelity and hoochie-mama ways were right-on. He even threw Marshall in her face and called her out for cheating again. He's right. Jessica doesn't deserve him. She seems to be more in Doc's league.


--Can someone explain the Rosanna/Jordan sex romp please? Comfort sex was how Jordan justified the sheet shuffle. Yeah, whatever. We all know he's always had a bit of a thing for Miss Ro, since he first me her. Granted, seeing her sobbing in the crib would get to any man. But did they really have to go there? Rosanna should take a lesson from Carly and drown her sorrows in liquor, not sex. No, wait. Carly opted for liquor and sex during her next-to-last crisis when she got drunk and slept with Mike.


--Why is no one questioning whether Cabot is dead? As devious as James is and as obsessed as he's been with Cabot, shouldn't it occur to someone that he wouldn't kill the kid?


--It's obvious to me why that fire alarm went off at the Lakeview. Lucy and Dusty are simply hot. I know he's all wrong for her, but I love them together. I'm simply trying to block out the fact that he deflowered her aunt Lily more then 15 years ago.


--I forgot how much I LOVE Craig and Carly scenes. Give us more. Since Carly's destined to reunite with Jack, I'll be happy with Craig playing the role of best friend. And I'm glad Craig finally got to share his grief about Cabot with someone, considering Rosanna seems to have forgotten they were once married.


--Was the maid who stole the money from the hotel the woman from "Mama's Family?" I swear it looked just like Mama's daughter in-law Naomi.


--I feel compelled to say again how fabulous Peyton List is lately. Longtime readers know I was a harsh critic of the teen scene a couple years ago that painted her as a perfect debutante. So I'm glad to see List is finally in a storyline worthy of her. And boy is she showing her ability. Lucy's scenes with Craig were heartbreaking. I just keep hoping she will shed those good-girl ways soon, so we can all say goodbye to Lullaby. Just imagine List as a vixen. And Craig trying to deal with a rebellious daughter. Now that would be some good stuff.


--My "Things That Make You Go Huh?" moments this week: When did Cabot get his name changed from Cabot Montgomery to Cabot Sinclair? Why wasn't Walker at Barbara's hearing?

Best Lines of the Week:
(Craig stays at the church to comfort Carly even though she told him to leave.)
Carly: "Sometimes you really tick me off."
Craig: "I know. It's a gift."


And this may well be the funniest line of the year, as Aaron points out what we've said many time here at Two Scoops.
(Ali finds the underage Aaron at Metro.)
Ali: "What are you doing here?"
Aaron: "Running a bar that I can't even drink in."


Jennifer Biller


Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.



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