For the Week of July 19, 2004
He sings. Badly. He packs heat. Badly. And he could teach courses in manipulation. But I can't believe Craig Montgomery is a cold-blooded killer. He slays people with his witty rhetoric, not a loaded gun. My theory is that Don Creole lunged toward Craig, and the gun went off during the struggle.
As for masterminding the plot to kidnap Lucy, it was low, even for Craig. But I'll overlook that plot point since it's keeping him in a front-burner storyline. Manipulation is more Craig's style. Case and point: Getting Sierra to unwittingly bankroll his blackmail payment. That was vintage Craig and pure entertainment.
If Craig really wanted to make Lucy disappear for a short time, he should have enlisted James' help. Look at how many times he's snatched Cabot. That kid disappears faster than Henry's martinis.
--Cell phones and a leather recliner in prison, really James. What's next, a three-piece Armani? James obviously has his own Mama Morton to bribe. I've heard of country club incarceration at federal prisons, but not like this. He is practically at Club Med. Er, Club Fed that is.
--No clowning around, that ongoing clown gig is just not funny. James' clown fetish is disturbing. And why a clown? It seems a ringmaster would be more fitting. James just gets creepier and creepier. I swear if he starts asking for Chianti and fava beans, Paul had better watch his back, literally.
--Scoopers, send Prozac. No Henry all week makes me depressed enough to eat my body weight in chocolate.
--I don't know who I'm more stunned at, Jessica or Margo. First there was Jessica, screaming at Doc that "a good man would have sent me home" instead of taking her to bed. Huh? I seem to recall Jessica enjoying every sinful minute of it. I want to like this character, but she makes it so hard. Then, there was Margo, ready to tell Ben about Jessica's affair, despite that Jessica has kept her dirty little secret for weeks. (I think Margo is just jealous that it was Jess who got to do the sheet shuffle with Doc.) When Margo told Jess she didn't deserve Ben, I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Can you smell the hypocrisy? I need a roadmap to keep up with Margo's changing feelings: She wants Doc. She wants Tom. She's jealous of Jessica for sleeping with Doc. She's mad at Tom for not trusting her. At least this story means screen time for Ellen Dolan, and that's always a good thing, despite Margo's wishy-washy behavior of late.
--Kudos to the wardrobe department for casual Friday. First Jordan was sporting his Carnegie Mellon t-shirt, then Holden showed up in his Nuggets tee. It's nice to see characters in regular clothes for a change.
--Couldn't the Oakdale PD have done a gun-powder-residue test on Dusty's hands to prove he didn't fire the weapon? Geesh. Hal needs to watch "CSI," already.
--Sierra is like a breath of fresh air every time she blows into town. Perhaps we'll see more of her, if Alan turns out to be the crook I think he is. He's acting way to weird not to be involved in the Lucy mess or some other evil plot.
--Jennifer and Jordan = ZZZZ. Enough said.
--How fantastic was the Lily and Lucy scene? Lily was issuing more warnings to her niece than a bottle of Viagra. The use of history between Lily and Dusty, juxtaposed between Lucy's burgeoning crush on Lily's ex is the foundation for some intriguing story. And I never noticed the resemblance between Peyton List and Martha Byrne before, until they were seated together in the car. Suddenly, it's as if we're reliving Lily's teenage years, but with Lucy instead.
--Let's play a game I call Toe Tag. We make predictions on which Oakdale citizen will be the next to turn up dead. My money is on Jill or Doc. It's just a matter of time before one of them is headed for that cold slab in the morgue, complete with toe tag.
--I'm enjoying Walker Daniels. I really hope he doesn't turn out to be James' cohort. I'd like to see Walker developed more and make some friends, as long as it isn't Jessica. She just can't seem to stay out of the beds of the hot, black men in town.
--Does anyone else think that new Nikki would have been better cast as Molly and new Molly as Nikki? For some reason, new Nikki reminds me of Lesli Kay. I think the transition from old Molly to new Molly would have been easier had the ATWT execs gone that route.
--Kim and Susan, can't we all just get along? These two are acting more immature than Alison, if that's possible. They should put their bickering on hold, for the sake of their children. On second thought, with the sparks flying between Chris and Emily this week, the bickering divas might not have to worry about a wedding at all.
--I'm dying to see Aaron's reaction to the Dusty/Lucy relationship. And can you imagine Craig and Lucinda? Oh boy. Dusty had better take out some life insurance. Fast.
Understatement of the week:
Doc to Jill: "You're off your damn rocker. You realize that, don't you?"
Best Lines of the Week:
(The Stewart women meet for lunch.)
Emily: "Okay, ladies. Do we remember why we're here?"
Susan: "To plan Alison's wedding."
Emily: "Okay. And what are we not gonna do?"
Susan: "Have any fun because Kim is meeting us here, too."
(Susan is shocked at Kim's lengthy guest list for Ali's wedding.)
Susan: "Oh, it's pretty bad. This budget is for 100 people, and it's barely affordable. And since you're inviting the Army, Navy and Marines, I'm gonna have to sell a kidney or something."
Since my beloved Henry wasn't on this week to give us some great lines, we'll revisit this classic from a couple weeks ago. Two Scoops reader Lucia sent in this suggestion for Best Line of the Year:
(Henry tries to convince Katie to partner with him in the Keys Contest.)
"I need you, Cupcake. I need you like Bush needs Florida!"
That's all for now. See ya next time Scoopers!
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