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Margo's urge to merge
For the Week of June 7, 2004

Like shoes on the clearance rack, you know I can't resist Simon Frasier. Every time he pops back into Oakdale - muscles rippling, accent rolling - it makes me remember why the Frasiers are one of my all-time favorite daytime couples.


That said, I see nowhere for this current visit to go but to Hades in a hand basket. It appears from the not-so-subtle hints, that Simon is responsible for this Pilar nonsense. And that Scoopers, has me scratching my head.


Yes, Simon was a conman. But, as all great soap heroes are, he was redeemed by the love of his leading lady. And for the past several years, he has left his villainous ways behind. If it turns out that Simon played a part in getting Katie committed to the looney bin, no matter what his reasoning, it's character assassination.


I can almost buy that Simon would be threatened enough by Mike to bring Pilar back to town. But, no way am I buying that he would have let it get to the point where Katie was committed and robbed of her family heirlooms.


I try to stay spoiler free, so I don't know how long Paul Leyden's return visit will last. I do know his primetime pilot with Heather Locklear was picked up, so it's a safe bet Simon's stay will be short. With that in mind, I'm begging the ATWT honchos - don't ruin the Frasiers' love story by making him a bad guy again. To explain his inevitable departure, show execs should kill him for real this time, or have him leave town again to keep Katie safe.


While parting with Simon again will be sweet sorrow, I believe Katie will once again find love. And no, I don't think it will be with Mike.


In other observations:
--Maybe I'm hopped up on the caffeine, or maybe it's just years of repeating, "Henry will be a leading man, Henry will be a leading man," but I'm certain the TV gods have heard my prayer. It seems Simon's departure could pave the way for a Henry/Katie romance - finally. I know I've been preaching the Henry love for the last couple years, and you're probably sick of hearing about it. But someone, somewhere must be listening. Henry is being transitioned from lovable sidekick to romantic lead. This week when he told Simon, "Break her heart again and I'll kill you," there was no trademark humor or sarcasm. It was Henry at his most sincere and protective. Henry is Oakdale's best kept secret. He's tall and beautiful, with a wit dryer than his dirty martini. And most importantly, he's always there for Katie.


--Is Margo a hoochie? That seems to be the great debate this week, as many of you are disgusted with her make-out session with Doc. Will she cheat? I'm not sure. But I'm enjoying her mid-life crisis. Then again, she could have followed Carly and Jack's lead and just bought a corvette.


--How hilarious was the scene where Chris walked in on Susan naked? The "Something's Gotta Give" moment had me chuckling all day. There was shock, embarrassment, denial, awkwardness - all the emotions I shoot for when meeting a significant other's mother. Unfortunately, I think this new living arrangement has about as much chance of working as there is of Lucinda uttering a sentence without the word "darling" in it.


--Welcome back Craig Montgomery. He's good. He's bad. He wears his sunglasses at night. Oh, how I've missed watching this flawed character. While his drunken behavior at Lucy's party was reprehensible, it goes to show just how far this character has fallen. I can't wait to see him make his climb back to the top. Hunt Block makes Craig someone we can love, hate and sympathize with all in one scene. His barbs at ex-wife Sierra's new husband were amusing. How many different names did he call the new guy, who is a seasoned sailor? I lost count at "Gilligan," "Popeye" and "Skipper."


--Speaking of Lucy's new stepfather, does anyone else think he may be the reason Lucy was attacked? For once, I think Dusty may be innocent.


--Poor Mike. His character has been sacrificed to the Katie/Simon love story. He needs a new romantic interest, and there doesn't seem to be anyone in town to fit the bill. Rosanna is married and plenty preoccupied, as is Carly. And I never really thought he and Molly were a good match. I think it's time to bring on someone new for this guy and get Pilar out of the picture.


--It's summer, and there's not a gaggle of teens in sight. I couldn't be happier. The last teen storyline ATWT tried was a bust. It just pushed aside the show's top talent for the sake of a short-term summer story. Ironically, I enjoy Lucy and Aaron when they're not together. And I love the new, mature Lucy. I'd like to see her stay in town this summer, get in touch with the part of Craig that's in her, and cut loose. Can you imagine? Now that would be a summer teen storyline worth watching.


--I love Lily's new ‘do. It goes with her new attitude - sanity. It's about time this heroine returned to form and started acting like Lily again. She gets much love from me this week for taking Craig's side. Let's face it, he doesn't have anybody left in his corner.


--It's no wonder James likes to play puppet master in Oakdale. It's just too easy. These folks will buy anything without asking questions. He's got Barbara believing she gave birth to twins all those years ago. I don't believe it. Not only do Paul and Jordan look nothing alike, it's too preposterous. Jordan may be James' son, but I'll bet Barbara isn't his mommy. Or if she is, then perhaps Paul isn't the real Stenbeck heir. Maybe James switched Jordan and Paul at birth and let Babs believe Paul was really her son.


--I've never been much of a fan of Jennifer, ever since she refused to sleep with longtime boyfriend Bryant, but immediately hopped in the sack with his cousin Billy. Then there were those ridiculous come-ons to Dusty. And finally her full-out assault to get Jordan. She is just way too needy to have earned my respect. Jordan isn't winning points with me either. Um, wouldn't he, at the very least, try to figure out who he had slept with to father a baby?


--Did Jordan and Jennifer's bed set look familiar to anyone else? I swear that was Katie and Simon's old bed/window combination from when they lived at the Lakeview?


--Where do you supposed I could get a subscription to Soldier of Fortune magazine? I'm certain Simon didn't see the ad Henry placed in it telling him to come home, as he claims. The real question here is, if Simon had cleared things with the authorities, why did it supposedly take a message from Henry to get him back to Oakdale?


Understatement of the Week:
Ali: "Chris, you used to be my sister's boyfriend. Now, you're my boyfriend. Now, you just saw my mom naked. That's not normal."


Best Lines of the Week:
(Lucy's new stepfather gives her a graduation present, much to Craig's annoyance.)
Craig: "Beware of geeks bearing gifts. Er, Greeks that is."


(Sierra and Craig bicker at Lucy's graduation ceremony as Sierra offers him a drink.)
Sierra: "What would a celebration brunch be without a mimosa?"
Craig: "Actually, I think I'd like something with a little more oomph."
Sierra: "Hemlock's out of season."
Craig: "Yeah, well vodka isn't."


(Craig is upset that Lucy is going to spend the summer with her mother.)
Lily: "I feel sorry for Craig."
Lucinda: "Shut up darling. He isn't worth the powder to blow him to Hell."


That's all for now. See ya next time Scoopers!
Jennifer Biller


Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.



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