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Crazy day, huh?
For the Week of May 30, 2011
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Two Scoops is a weekly opinion column about all things All My Children. Check in every week to see if you agree or disagree with what our columnists have to say!
Marissa has mastered the understatement. While on the phone with Bianca -- you know, after Marissa and Bianca were tied up in a closet, and after Bianca revealed that she had been raped -- Marissa decided to sum up the events with the underwhelming, "Crazy day, huh?"

You want crazy? I'll show you crazy! As the writers edge ever closer to having Marissa develop feelings of attraction for Bianca, they decided to have the pair tired together where? A closet? I know that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but are you telling me that not one person at the weekly production meeting didn't step up to say, "Gee, maybe putting them in a closet is a little too Freudian or even tacky." The only possible thing that could have made this even fronsier, would have been to have someone enter the room and tell the women, "Ricky's gone, Marissa. It's safe for you to come out of the closet now."

What I did like about all of this was the nod to history. All My Children probably wasn't even a glimmer in Christina Bennett Lind's eye when Michael Cambias raped Bianca. Still, I thought her performance was very powerful. I understand that Christina watched some of the old AMC episodes to prepare and to get herself acquainted with the storyline. The carefully selected video footage reminded viewers of the horror that Bianca endured. It was touching when Bianca spoke of her miracle, Miranda, and how unfathomable it is that someone so amazing came from something so terrible.

It's something that resonated with me.

I don't condone violence, but my pants would be on fire if I told you that I wasn't yelling, "Shoot him!" at the television set last week when Kendall was wagging her gun in Ricky's face. I had a moment of hesitation when I realized that if Kendall did, in fact, shoot and kill Ricky that we'd probably have to endure another round of that secret room in the Slater house. There was also another thought that popped up into my mind: What if Ricky killed Kendall? Would Kendall and Zach reunite in heaven? That could have made for a tearjerker of a storyline, but I highly doubt that Thorsten Kaye would agree to reprise the role of Zach only to pop up with wings and a harp. I'd also have to think that Lorraine Broderick would know better than to tick off the Zach and Kendall fans who are only just now cooling down from the fact that the Zach was whacked.

There are a lot of fans who are glad that the not-so-good "Reverend" Ricky will now be ministering to the boys in Statesville, but I still wish that his sendoff would have been a little less soapy.

So Jane had surgery to look like Erica, huh? I kinda figured that was the case, but you never know on a soap. Evil twins. Siblings separated at birth. Space aliens. Anything is possible. There is, however, another wrinkle in all of this -- and it showed up on my doppel-er radar when the plastic surgeon told Jane that the surgery wouldn't eliminate the world's problems. Jane is somebody... somebody I think we know.

The most common names that pop up from you, the readers, are Silver Kane, Janet Green, and Carmen Morales -- pretty much in that order. Do I think any of these are the right gal? I am not sure... but I can tell you that I can't really argue strongly against any of them. The biggest knock against Janet and Carmen is that neither of these women were the same size as Erica. Both were quite taller than her. As for Silver, that was a long time ago, and I can't recall how she and Erica matched up size-wise.

What viewers do agree on is that dress swap that I mentioned in last week's column. Here was my original musing: There is something that bothers me. I could have sworn that before the explosion at the quarry, Erica was wearing the blue dress and Jane was wearing a black one. After, though, when Jack found "Erica," it was Jane that had on the blue dress. Did Jane bop Erica on the head, drag her into a closet, and change outfits? Or maybe that "quick change" magic duo swung by and presto-changeoed their frocks.

    "I agree with you about the dresses," Peggy wrote in an email to me. "I thought Erica was wearing the blue dress. As a matter of fact, I paid very close attention to it because I figured that would be the way we'd know which one got out of the explosion."

    "THANK YOU. I thought that I too had gone mad, or at the very least, missed a segment -- I'm referring to Erica's dress situation," Jen added. "I, too, recall that the 'real' Erica was wearing a blue dress and the imposter was wearing a black one. I even replayed the scene a few times to make sure I wasn't mad! It's hard for me to believe that the continuity people would miss such an obvious thing as that dress change, but if they didn't and it was intentional, then what could be the reason for it and how will it be explained?"

I don't know how it will be explained, Jen. There are a few possible scenarios -- but neither really makes sense. The first is that Jane stripped Erica in the 90 seconds that it took for the bomb to explode and swapped outfits with her. The second is that the explosion caused both Jane and Erica to have head trauma that swapped their personalities. The third? Someone just wasn't paying attention.

Am I the only one who doesn't understand Jake's inability to move on from Cara? It has absolutely nothing to do with Cara. I mean -- look at the woman. She's beautiful, she has a good heart, and she's a devoted sister. Those are great qualities. Sure, she jerked it up a few years ago when she went runaway bride on Jake, but we've all made a mistake here or there. It's not like that's the fronsiest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Ahem. Anyway. Aside from the fact that she has a crazy mother, there's nothing wrong with Amanda. She's awfully fun to look at, she has a good heart, and she's a good friend. So I don't understand why Jake isn't satisfied with the mother of his child. Sure, she skanked it up with that whole sleeping with David thing in the back of a car, but we've all made a mistake here or there. I guess what I am saying is that it's sad to know that Jake's love for Amanda isn't great enough to get over the fact that a woman he once loved left him.

I had two questions in last week's column -- and you were very willing to speak out. The first asked if anyone recognized the abandoned building where Griffin had been hiding as a previously used AMC set. Everyone who wrote in seemed to remember it -- but everyone had different ideas, and everyone was absolutely certain that their memory was correct.

Here's a sampling of what I received.

    "The place Griffin is hiding out is the 'old' Wildwind living room... the one Maria decorated with those horrid green finged sofas and hideous lamps. Note the broken lamp in the background," Ann noted. "Anyway, you mentioned the house and that you thought you had seen it before -- you have," Caroline explained. "The house was used when Greenlee and Zach were stuck in the hole. There was a guy living there and after they were found either Zach or Ryan bought the house. I think it may have been Ryan and that's why he though to bring Griffin there." "My first thought was the house that Kendall and Aiden hid in with that trashy blonde when Kendall was on the run, but that was when the show was on the East coast," Susan responded. "Would they schlep that thing across the country?"

The other big topic was Dixie's return -- and where the heck she's hiding out. Again, there were a lot of thoughts -- and some of you made it clear that you don't want Dixie back at all.

    "I think Brian Frons is holding Dixie hostage in one of his caves," Therese mused.

    "I thought Dixie was in the hospital that Cara started volunteering at," Kerry offered. "I was expecting Dixie to hear Tad's voice when he was there visiting Cara."

    "Oh my gosh, if they resurrect Dixie from the dead yet again, then AMC deserves to go off the air," Becky remarked. "Please, leave Dixie in the grave."

    "Remember when Zach's father said he never killed Dixie, then fingers started pointing at Adam then the whole thing was just dropped? Well, maybe Zach's father has her squirreled away somewhere and since he is paralyzed and in prison, has someone taking care of her even though she looked like she was in a dungeon or someplace not very nice," Marsha wrote.

    "I hope that Dixie does turn out to be alive, if only to reunite with Tad before AMC is gone forever," Kristen added. "I will even suspend reality if the story of how she is still alive is beyond ridiculous, only for that to happen."

Crazy column, huh? Sorry. I was channeling my inner-Marissa. It's a short week of AMC this week due to the encore episode airing on Memorial Day, but I'll still be back next week with more of my take on Pine Valley -- and if you'd like to weigh in, you can do so at any time by clicking my name at the top of the column, the feedback option below, or this link. dan

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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